Murder, Sex, Lies and Incest... in the Bible?

This will not be easy.

As many people might know, I am reading the Bible for the first time and blogging about it here.

The people who are joining me as I read might expect, or maybe even hope for, a certain response. I imagine that's especially true for veteran Bible readers and scholars. Should my response not be what is expected, some people might become defensive and write me off a as a clueless lunatic. Or worse.

My intent is not to trash this book or point out any self-perceived flaws I think it might contain. The reason I chose to embark on this reading is to invoke provocative thought; from myself, from those reading at the same time and from those who have read the book in the past. My intent is to find poetic beauty that resonates within my spirit. To debate, discuss and challenge long-established truths, then dig deeper and find new meaning.

In the first hundred pages or so of Genesis, I'm disappointed. If this were a book I picked up by a new author I wouldn't continue reading. I opened the pages of this particular tome thirsty for beauty and got a mouthful of dust.

Followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

I'm amused by the account of creation but have a hard time believing that modern humans accept the story of Earth and all life it holds being created within six days. Yes, it's a nice verse that may have convinced people eons ago but today we have science to tell us that the Sun was around well before the Earth and that evolution of the species is a very real concept happening against a well-established timeline.

Where do Adam and Eve fall on that timeline? How many years ago did they take from the tree of knowledge and open their eyes to sin?

The story of Noah holds equal fascination. Why God would create life then decide he screwed up, wipe it away then repopulate with the same species just doesn't make any sense. Then again, making sense and having faith are very different things so maybe there's a deeper meaning here that I am missing. If so, I'd be more than happy to read the section again with a different set of eyes.

The fact that these early human lives spanned 800-900 years doesn't do much for the credibility factor either.

It was the story of Abraham and his descendants, though, that truly disturbed me and opened the floodgates of rhetorical questions.

I read with wide eyes when Abraham shared his wife with other men. I uttered an audible "What?" just below my breath when Jacob took two wives, both of whom let him have sex with other women.

I guess I was under the impression the Bible was against infidelity, but then again I'm early in the story so I'll withhold judgment until later.

My stomach turned in disgust when the two daughters had sex with their father in attempts to get pregnant and felt mortified when Lot offered his daughters in an attempt to stop men from having sex with each other in the city of Sodom.

In that part of the world, in that time period, was forced sex upon females more acceptable than consensual sex between males? I didn't expect this.

It's a moot point, I suppose, because God killed the entire town of men with sulfuric fire rain anyway. (Which sounds more like the devil's work than God's.)

Honestly, I was really nervous to write the post a few weeks ago about pornography, but that's downright tame compared to what I've read in the Bible so far.

However uncomfortable it might be to acknowledge, in these first few chapters, God has committed mass murder (multiple times), feels like he screwed up humanity from the very beginning of creation and seems to condone multiple sexual partners while married.

Wow. This is quite the opening to the story of Christianity.

Maybe the point of Genesis is to establish the point that humans naturally lust for what has been called "sin." To ingrain an immediate fear of a vengeful God. To paint humanity as a disgusting cesspool of lawless evil before being saved by the time the last page is turned.

I hope not. I hope God would instead describe humans as his masterpiece; beings of light capable of experiencing the kind of love he used to create the universe.

Now that I've started this, I'm 100 percent convinced I need support and guidance. Reading Stephen Swanson's advice should really help, along with all the great comments and support posted when this project was announced. I hope (and pray, I guess) that the support continues.

Remember, this truly is the first time I've ever cracked open the spine of a Bible with the intent of reading it with a completely open mind. I was punched in the face with these taboo topics and am left wondering if folks just choose not to discuss this stuff in polite company, haven't noticed it, or just take it all with the same grain of salt I took with the story of a 6-day creation.

I have many, many other questions written down from my reading so far, but I'll end with just one:

Are there any other first-time Bible readers on this journey with me?

***

Travis Griffith, Relief's Blog Manager, is a former atheist now exploring what a spiritual life really means. His children’s book, Your Father Forever, was published in 2005 by Illumination Arts Publishing Company, Inc. Travis works from his home in Spokane, WA as a professional writer.

The Driving Force of Passion

Bonnie writes about the things that she is passionate about. Passion compels us forward into action. While there are several things I support, there are a few that I am passionate about.  I am passionate about being holistically pro-life, my personal theology, and as shallow as it comparatively sounds, reading a good book.

I love to read so when I read a really awesome book or story I am totally absorbed in the plot, the characters, and the emotion – yes, I occasionally laugh or cry as I read. I get so invested in the plot that real life fades a bit – I go through the motions but my mind is on the story. After I finish a novel I always feel a little deflated and sad that my story is over and sometimes I wonder what the characters would do next.

Passion also drives us to invest in the things that we care about, either through volunteering or giving financially. It also means that we invest our time in the things that are important to us. I would like to say that while our LoveRelief campaign is over, consider giving back to a journal that supports great stories.

Bonnie Ponce is the Director of Support Raising for Relief and lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband and betta fish. She has a BA in English from Sam Houston State University. After work she enjoys relaxing with a good book or working on her novel.

To Travis...About the Bible

Stephen Swanson dispenses kindly advice to Travis to be helpful and avoid the many, many frustrating things in the world today.

So, yeah, there's lots of fun and important things that I could write about: OBL, fake quotes from MLK, end of term, a new son, looking at houses, motorcycles....  Oh, I could go on and on, but I've really been wanting to do something helpful.

I was very thankful for Travis' post last week that gave me a chance to chime in, and rather than just post a comment, I'm choosing to use a column on it.

He's already had some great advice on translations/versions, programs, skipping Leviticus, and other reading tips and hints.  With all the suggestions, I can't but help to feel like it's some sort of Nintendo Power walkthrough.  You know,  "The Bible...the Original Video Game", and Travis is trying to go through Zelda in less than 30 minutes.

I must first disclose that I have never read the Bible cover-to-cover.  I've tried a couple of times, but there's just too many things against it as a practice. My problem wasn't Leviticus or Numbers; they had some cool stuff. It was the minor prophets. "Alright!  We get it!  Bad will be punished...we hope and pray.  Good will be rewarded...we hope and pray.   Yes, yes, G-d IS powerful and amazing."

Yes, there are all sorts of things that will come up.

• There is the frustration with the minute subdivisions of paragraphs and sentences into chapter and verse when the prose just does not support that segmentation.
• There's interminable poetry (LotR's strategy=skip poetry, not necessarily with the Bible), history, law, and prophecy.
• There's a whole mess of some dude's letters that have, for some reason, been shoved between an early history of the Church and a final book of prophecy (You know, just for good measure).
• There's the past 2000 years of use and abuse of the documents in this volume for both great good and great evil.
• There's the present association of the Bible with conservatism, fundamentalism, and evangelicalism.

However, if one looks at it as a wonderful archive, then things potentially begin to change.

• Each book holds a glimpse into generations and generations of real people who struggled to find, understand, and live out some relationship to the infinite.
• Each of  these glimpses comes with loads of historical context where we can really begin to see complex relationships.
• Each one presents an experience into the core questions of humanity as an individual, a community, and a society.
• Each of the books tries to engage in a very real and meaningful way with the questions raised by existence and yet tell gritty stories about hard lives in hard times

It grows easier and easier to equate The Bible with religion.  However, I'd argue that The Bible =/= religion, even though the Reformation used the book as a conduit between the person of faith and their God through their ability, right, and responsibility to read and understand it. I understand that this has morphed into a fascination for those who believe in strict inerrancy and infallibility of The Bible as the Word of God.  I'm not one of them, but I respect that as a position with a lot of power in the world today.

However, regardless of the objective truth of the words, the narratives and arcs that it contains describe the relationship between people and a view of the Divine at the very least.

Many people, therefore, emphasize the epic qualities of The Bible.  After all, it's about "GOD", right?  It's got to be SERIOUS and star Charlton Heston.  The must be heavy, serious music.  It must be in Panavision.  The emphasis has been on the weight and grandeur of a narrative about God and man.

Something about this, though, strikes me as idolatry.  Not in the normal sense, but it's almost like Christians are still competing with the Greeks and Romans to show that their religion is as cool,

"Hey, look!  We've got cool stories too!"

"Do you have a god in the form of a bull raping a woman?"

"No..."

"Well, do you at least have Morgan Freeman?"

"<...>"

"Then I'm not sure how you can call it a religion."

I like to imagine The Bible more like if it was made by HBO or Showtime...maybe AMC, but only if John Hamm and Christina Hendricks were in it.  Imagine if David Simon wrote and directed, maybe with some help from Richard Price.

Connections abound between The Wire, Rome, and The Bible. Family struggles, sex, violence, political intrigue, captivity, and exotic locales abound, but those are points for another day.

Forget the theology for a bit and get to know the people and peoples behind The Bible.  Treat it like The Bible, maybe even the bible.  Think about their lives, thoughts, hopes, fears, and dreams.  Midrash in your mind as you go, and don't be afraid to jump around.

As the Israelites are exiled, jump forward to their prophets who wrote in that time, and then jump back.  As David flees and starts a revolution, read the songs that he composed, perhaps at night.

Works in translation are always hard to really get and feel.  Additionally, the vast majority of The Bible lacks the punch and flow of Elmore Leonard.  However, the people and drama are there.

It's just a matter of letting the other things go, at least for a while.

Stephen Swanson teaches as an assistant professor of English at McLennan Community College. Aside from guiding students through the pitfalls of college writing and literature, he spends most of his time trying to remain aware of popular culture, cooking, and enjoying time with his wife and son. He holds degrees in Communications (Calvin College), Film Studies (Central Michigan University), and Media and American Culture Studies (Bowling Green State University). In addition to editing a collection, Battleground States: Scholarship in Contemporary America, he has forthcoming projects on Johnny Cash and analysis of vampires and gods in terms of hospitality.

Acts of Kindness

Bonnie shares about how an act of kindness can really impact a life. I was standing in line at the grocery store and I noticed how rude the person in front of me was acting to the cashier.  Talking on her cell phone and ignoring the cashier's attempts at conversational pleasantries, she was too busy to be polite.   On the other side, waiting on people who are angry or impatient can be tough.  In college I worked for the university's Information Resources and answered the help desk phones.  Some people were patient as I walked them through the steps to fix their computer problems.  Other people would almost reduce me to tears.  I remember one particularly conversation in which a faculty member accused me of trying to delete all of her emails!

It doesn't take a lot to be nice - a smile, a casual, how are you doing? or a complement can make someone's day.  We often take for granted the people that serve us throughout the day - a waiter, janitorial people, cashiers at Starbucks, toll booth workers, or secretaries.  It only takes a small gesture of kindness to brighten someones day.  But often times it is the rude people we encounter or bad experiences that stick with us an color our whole day.  Which is why I want to share a story about how much it can affect someone or even a whole entity when consideration for others is lacking.  Sam Davidson shares an experience with a non-profit that led him to stop donating.

At Relief, we know that you are the life-blood of what we do. We want to thank you for your donations, for buying subscriptions, for supporting great literature and being loyal to our mission. We want to know what your experience has been with Relief.  We ask for your support so we can continue to provide new stories, poetry, and inspirational creative fiction for you to read. Share your experience with us! If you connect with us, share why you gave or consider giving a gift if you have been encouraged or inspired by Relief.

Bear Witness as I Experience My First Time...

It seems we’re born into a world where everyone is blind.

We don’t know who we are; so we search, arms outstretched, wandering, hoping we run into some form of ourselves that might know the answers.

It’s during that journey through the darkness that many people turn to religion.

Religion provides millions of people with the answers they seek, but for countless others it only raises more questions that outweigh the faith required to believe.

My journey is about to take a turn that every fiber of my being tells me not to follow. And I’m going to need your help.

First, though, a little history.

I spent the first 28 years of my life staunchly opposed to the idea of God and dismissed Christianity, along with all other religions, as mythical stories believed only by the weak-minded.

Then, about six years ago, some things began to happen that jolted my perception of the spiritual realm; things that seem unreal when I look back at them today.  Eventually those experiences opened some new paths in my life, one of which led to the Relief Journal.

It’s been about two years since my first blog at Relief and I’ve contributed sporadically since then. Just recently I had the opportunity to take the blog manager position here, which I humbly accepted.

Many people, including myself, find this more than ironic considering my anti-Christian past. I still don’t label myself a Christian, but I am highly spiritual and have developed a deep respect for all religions, including Christianity.

After accepting the position here, a friend posed a resounding and poignant question. She said, “You don’t comment on movies you haven’t seen, right? How can you comment on a religion when you haven’t read its book?”

Well… shit. I didn’t have an answer. At least not a good one.

While I love being right, I’m certainly not opposed to admitting when I’ve been called out. That was a moment I had my legs swept from beneath me and I could only raise the white flag of defeat while acknowledging she had one hell of a good point.

So I decided I should read the Bible.

You have to understand that if I had the choice between getting caught by someone while secretly reading the Bible or watching porn involving transvestite grandmas with Spanish men, I’d choose the porn every time. There’s not as much shame involved.

I’ve thrown at least two Bibles in the garbage and even seriously considered burning the insanely expensive one we got for our wedding just to see those pathetically thin pages go up in flames.

And so I’ve gone from that closed-minded attitude of years past to openly committing to read the Bible, in its entirety. Even writing those words causes my blood pressure to rise, though I’m not sure if it’s out of embarrassment, because I’m fundamentally opposed to the book or just afraid of what I might find in it.

I’ll start on May 2 and, as my editors here requested, try to finish on July 30. That’s only 90 days, and I’ll try, but make no promises! I do promise to document my progress and express my thoughts and reactions to the book in this space. I expect some of it will piss me off, some will make me laugh, some will cause me to shake my head in disbelief and some, hopefully, will resonate with messages of pure, unconditional love.

At least a couple of Relief staffers have committed to read during the same time, and I hope you will too. I could use the help with my questions, have you take part in the comments and hopefully get inspiration from your reactions as you witness a guy experiencing the Bible for the first time.

Any tips for a Bible virgin?

***

Travis Griffith, Relief's Blog Manager, is a former atheist now exploring what a spiritual life really means. His children’s book, Your Father Forever, was published in 2005 by Illumination Arts Publishing Company, Inc. Travis works from his home in Spokane, WA as a professional writer.

He Is Risen: Easter Poem

Click over to The Englewood Review of Books to read a poem on Easter by the 19th century British poet Gerard Manley Hopkins. Hopkins was virtually unknown as a poet in his lifetime but was rediscovered by the modernists as an innovator in verse form.

The Faith of Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Usually I write to encourage people to give to Relief but today I would like to pay tribute to a great person who fought for Truth. I came across this blog by Eric Metaxas and I wanted to share an excerpt from it. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a brilliant young pastor and a theologian, whose deep faith in God led him to get involved in the plot to kill Hitler. When Hitler learned of Bonhoeffer's involvement he flew into a typically violent rage. As one of his final acts of revenge -- just three weeks before he committed suicide -- Hitler condemned the young pastor to death. Bonhoeffer was hanged on April 9, 1945 at Flossenburg Concentration camp.  But by all accounts, Bonhoeffer went to his death with the peace of God, with no regrets. How can that be? He was 39 years old, widely reckoned a theological genius. He had already written two of the classic books of the 20th century, "The Cost of Discipleship" and "Life Together." He was engaged to be married to a wonderful young woman. He had such a terrifically bright future! Bonhoeffer even had an opportunity to escape his fate. In my book I tell the story of how he had fled to America, but then decided to return to Germany, to face the horrors that lay ahead with his people. Why did he return when he didn't have to? And why didn't he have any regrets for doing so, even after he knew he would pay the ultimate price? Just before he died, Bonhoeffer told a fellow prisoner, "This is the end. But for me, the beginning of life." But on that day -- April 20, 1945 (Hitlar’s last birthday mentioned earlier in the original post)-- who was happy and who was at peace, Hitler or Bonhoeffer? For that matter, which of them is happy and at peace today? It's something chilling to think about, the contrast between these two Germans, between these two lives and these two deaths. But at this time of year especially, it's appropriate that perhaps we do think about it. But at this time of year, when Passover and Easter are being celebrated it's especially appropriate that we do think about it. Do those of us who say we believe in God really believe it? Because if we do, it will affect how we behave today, this week, this month... If we believe in the word of God, as Bonhoeffer did, it will give us the courage do the right thing wherever we are. Like Bonhoeffer, we will do the right thing and trust God with the consequences. Faith and courage go together. Bonhoeffer's faith gave him the courage to stand against the greatest evil of the 20th century. And today we celebrate him and revile the inhuman tyrant he stood against. So this Easter season, dare to think about what you really believe. What you believe about your faith will affect how you behave today and how people regard you years from today. That's a fact. Let the life of Bonhoeffer, lived in faith and without fear, be a source of encouragement to you, so that your life in turn may be a source of encouragement to others in years to come.

I agree with Metaxas call to think about what you believe.  Do you really believe in the truth and power of scripture? What would your life look like if you did? What do your actions show that you believe in – yourself or the Truth of God? I think that Easter is a time that we should reflect on our faith since it is the time when the curtain separating the Holy of Holies was torn in two giving us the opportunity to approach the throne of God with confidence and covered by his grace.

Bonnie Ponce is the Director of Support Raising for Relief and lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband and betta fish. She has a BA in English from Sam Houston State University. After work she enjoys relaxing with a good book or working on her novel.

Inspired to Give

Bonnie Ponce challenges those who have not contributed to the Love Relief campaign to read these stories and give to Relief.

As I was browsing through the internet, I came across this website of a company who helps charities raise support with capital campaigns.  I thought I would share this story to inspire you about why we ask you to give.  In the stories, the donors give $15,000 and $35,000 but we are only asking that you consider a gift of $25 or $50 or whatever you are inspired and able to give.  This story is from cdsfunds.com

“If you ever needed affirmation about why we do this for a living, these two tales carry a strong message.”

By: Greg Bowden

Fundraising can become such a mechanical process, in which we focus on rating prospects, writing proposals and scheduling logistics. This is never truer than in the midst of a capital campaign, when the pace of activity must be very high and everyone is focused on the bottom line of the campaign’s financial goal. In these instances, we can lose sight of the fact that we are meeting with real people and challenging them to think about their charitable priorities. Often, those donors take our requests very seriously and make decisions that broaden their philanthropy and demonstrate the impact of successful fundraising.

I am currently conducting a campaign for a YMCA resident and day camp based in the Berkshire Mountains of Massachusetts, which serves predominantly Connecticut, Massachusetts and metropolitan New York. We recently had two solicitations that produced surprising and very touching results. It was a reminder to me that our work allows us to have an impact on the lives of our donors as well as our organizations.

A few months ago we met with a couple who are very involved, charitable residents in the local community. While they had not given to the camp in the past, they were friends of the camp’s director. They agreed to meet with us, and were frankly shocked when we asked them for a pledge of $25,000 over five years. The wife commented that was more than they contribute to their church. The husband suggested they might be able to do something in the neighborhood of $15,000 and they would give it some thought.

When we followed up with them, the husband confirmed that they would pledge $15,000 to the campaign. He went on to say that our request had really stretched them, which had forced them to examine what they could truly do, rather than easily saying yes to a modest request. Their deliberations had further prompted them to take a look at all of their charitable priorities. How much did they contribute overall? If they seriously wanted to make this gift, but had trouble budgeting it, what did that say about their philanthropy? What changes were they able to make in their life that would allow them to meet their charitable goals?

All of these deliberations resulted in a lifestyle change for the couple. When the husband informed us of their decision, he explained that they had decided to sell their new BMW and buy a used Volkswagen, freeing up additional funds to make this pledge possible. As we were running a campaign for a children’s camp, I immediately thought of that saying, “A hundred years from now, it will not matter what kind of car you drove, or what sort of house you lived in, or how big your bank account was. But the world may be better because you were important in the life of a child.”

The second story came from an alumnus of the camp, who now lives in a town in coastal Connecticut. Both his parents were now deceased and, without siblings, it fell to him to sell their home and resolve their estate. He decided that he would put some of the proceeds from the house sale toward certain charitable projects. Despite the fact that he had no idea they were conducting a capital campaign, his first thoughts were of the Camp that had provided him such a significant experience in his childhood. He called the Camp’s executive director—actually calling twice before he got the director on the phone—and told the director that he wanted to make a significant charitable gift.

The donor’s objective was to make a gift to the endowment, the income from which would fund scholarships for less fortunate children to attend Camp. He was considering giving $15,000. The Camp’s executive director pointed out that, in order to maintain the principal in perpetuity that would not generate much income each year. With some polite probing, the Camp’s director was able to learn that the donor’s true intent was to fund four scholarships each year. That would require a gift of about $35,000. Once the Camp’s director was able to communicate what would be necessary to achieve the donor’s goal, the alumnus readily agreed to make the gift.

We do so much work changing the lives of those people who receive our services, it is easy to forget that we are often changing the lives of our donors as well. Helping people raise their sights in these ways is a critical step in their philanthropic lifespan. It will have a leveraged impact far beyond the value of their current gift, as they will apply their new philosophy to all future charitable decisions, as well.

Bonnie Ponce is the Director of Support Raising for Relief and lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband and betta fish. She has a BA in English from Sam Houston State University. After work she enjoys relaxing with a good book or working on her novel.

Book Review: Brian Spears' "A Witness in Exile"

By Alan Ackmann

Brian Spears, whose debut book of poetry A Witness in Exile was published earlier this year by Louisiana Literature press, is no stranger to long-time readers of Relief, having won the editor’s choice prize for poetry back in issue 2.2 for his poem “Hall Raising”. Although the poem published in that issue didn’t make the final cut of the book itself, many of its themes are revisited in A Witness in Exile, and handled in a way that Relief readers will probably find sincere and compelling.

Keep reading for the full review!

Though not explicitly divided, A Witness in Exile cleaves into roughly two sections. Poems in the first half of the book, with some exceptions, often focus on the relationship between an individual and an environment. As his biography indicates, Spears has a diverse background, and he presents poems set against the bayous of Louisiana, the swamps of south Florida, the deserts of New Mexico, and the coasts of San Francisco—places that “teeter on knife-edge” (to borrow a line from one of the poems). Sometimes these poems feature people; sometimes they meditate on the locations themselves. A sensation of loss pervades even those works peripheral to this motif, however, and the composite effect is of a writer seeking peace and completeness, in an existence that is wandering and fragmentary. On first read, this makes the book itself seem initially somewhat rambling, filled with poems that are occasionally quite strong—but collectively disjointed.

Unity emerges, though, in the book’s second half, where the poems take on a more consistent poignancy and urgency. Throughout this second half, Spears addresses material centered on his own childhood as a Jehovah’s Witness, a life he subsequently rejected, and he confronts this subject matter clearly, honestly, and un-ostentatiously. There are poems drawing from the religion’s core beliefs and practices, as well as its liturgical rituals and personal struggles. Most moving, though, are the poems that deal with the personal wounds that open when a prior believer walks away from the culture, and in this case the family and home, that raised and loved him.

Admirably, the Jehovah’s Witness poems (if it’s fair to label them as such) never descend into simplicity or caricature, and simultaneously never lambast or criticize. Spears—or, more to the point, the speaker in his poems—understands the beauty of the people who inhabit the lifestyle he is abandoning, and wishes them no harm. Indeed, some of the poems’ strongest moments come when the speaker seems to wish that he could go back to a time when he was unquestioning, to a clear-cut life undiluted by the complexity of doubt, when spiritual boundaries were clear, and—as the speaker freely admits in one poem—he was the happiest he’s ever been.

It is common to read Christian-themed poems about a believer’s doubts, and the trajectory of such poems is usually predictable. Less common, though, are poems about doubting ones atheism, and Spears’s inversion of the conventional tropes is tender and surprising.

When these two halves of the book are taken together, they enhance one another nicely. The first half presents speakers and poems who, at their center, seek a temporary version of the peace at one point possessed and then scorned in the book’s second half. The book seems to keep the reader at arm’s length for the first thirty pages, where its sadnesses are often ill-defined; someone is wandering off in exile, yes, but it’s hard to say from what. In the back thirty pages, however, the speakers are much more precise with their longing, inviting the reader into their intimacies, and this adds new texture to the initial poems. This juxtaposition creates a book that can exist as a completed text, in addition to a collection of isolated works.

It may be tempting to interpret the composite impact of Spears’s work from a purely spiritual vantage—as an account of the emptiness that dominates when Christ is not accepted, for example, or of the limitations of a particular sect of Christianity. Such interpretation, though, would be an oversimplified mistake. A Witness in Exile is the rare book of poetry that succeeds in treating matters of spirituality with tact and subtlety, coaxing a legitimate emotional response through its depiction of a worldview, not a dogma. It is a book not about the comfort of belief, but of the costs and consequences of a specific unbelief—costs that manifest themselves not in the hereafter, but in the sometimes melancholy here and now.

A Witness in Exile is available through www.amazon.com, and through the author’s personal website, www.brianspears.wordpress.com. I highly recommend it.

***

Alan Ackmann was fiction editor for volume two of Relief: A Quarterly Christian Expression. He teaches in the writing department at DePaul University. His fiction has appeared in numerous literary journals, including Ontario Review and McSweeney’s, and he recently completed his first novel. His website is www.alanackmann.com.

Thank you for your Support

I would like to thank everyone who has contributed to the Love Relief Campaign. Thank you for recognizing the work that we do here and for showing us your love. For everyone else I would like ask that you take a moment and consider giving to Relief. A donation of $5, $10, or $20 can go a long way to helping us continue to publish Relief Journal. The economy is rough but if you can afford a latte at Starbucks or to go see a movie, then consider giving up one luxury want and donating to Relief Journal instead. Giving online is safe and easy.  How much are you going to give to Relief today?

Bonnie Ponce is the Director of Support Raising for Relief and lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband and betta fish.  She has a BA in English from Sam Houston State University.  After work she enjoys relaxing with a good book or working on her novel.

An..ti.ci.paation!

Stephen Swanson

Stephen Swanson delves into the vital quandry of enjoying and hating "anticipation" for its own sake.

In the past few weeks, I've found that the music of Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings particularly inspiring.  It's not just their blend of classical soul and a contemporary mentality.  Nor does the music just grab at my heart and begin to bounce it in the most pleasant way.  Nor, yet, does it merely provide a hopeful outlook while grading student essays that might be less than impressive in their appearance of dedication.

It calls to me to get ready.

"Getting ready" presents a very real meaning for me these days as we expect our second child at any hour, day, or week.  It's not just the excitement and worry of how a second child will affect our lives and the thrill to meet this new person who will come into our family and change who we are.  Something bigger and smaller at the same time lodges in my heart.

In the beginning of the the title track of 2007's 100 Days, 100 Nights, the horns/saxophones begin by quietly spiraling down in the right channel, pause, the drums tap off four times in the left channel, and Jones' powerful voice comes in, "100 Days...100 Nights...to know a man's heart," in both ears.

Not only does the stripped down production work to recall a 50s/60s feel, it also brings to the fore the absences of the other voices.  This awareness of the missing sounds and pauses heighten and balance the parts where the sound is filled with lead vocals, backing, bass, drums, guitars, and horns, forcing the listener to appreciate both the presence and absences even more.

I want to balance this with the ending track of the album, "Answer Me", particularly the version that the Dap Kings released that shows a bit of the recording process. This version amplifies this anticipation because it not only uses Jones' sparse piano intro, but it takes a number of starts to get it right before breaking into the song itself.  The listener/viewer keeps waiting for the song to get grooving, but not quite yet.

When it finally, breaks into the chorus, the words and music combine to give the lyrics some significance that cut to the heart of the meaning and importance of anticipation:

Answer me, sweet Jesus

Won't you hear me calling

I need you, Lord

Answer me, sweet Jesus

Don't you hear me calling

I need you, Lord

The repetition and subtle differences calls for the listener to pay closer attention but to also join in in spite of those differences. The lyrics and music combine both a familiarity and a new-ness that strengthens the associations between singer and listener.  So that when we reach the verse,

Lord, I've run out of words to sing

All I can do is moan

I cannot pray, like all of a sudden

But let me know my prayer's being heard

whether we are religious, spiritual, or not, we have a bond at least with the singer.  There's an association implied by anticipation...a requirement of a relationship of some sort, and we want that fullfillment.

However, we are stuck in the now...the not yet.

Still, as frustrating as this seems, a meaningful expression comes out, and it's expression does not consist of just one, lone voice.  Jones continues singing as she's joined not only by the band but also with a chorus of background singers as they all call out for the thing that is not yet.

She (They) conclude on a definitive:

I'm gonna wait right here for ya.

It's hard to wait.  Patience is hard, especially when so much can be at stake, but I find that Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings not only join me in the release of those emotions but that they also exemplify the nature of humanity's struggle for meaning and value in the process, the tensions between the strange and the familiar, the solo and collective, and the terrestrial and supernatural.

I <3 them and hope that you will too.

Stephen Swanson teaches as an assistant professor of English at McLennan Community College. Aside from guiding students through the pitfalls of college writing and literature, he spends most of his time trying to remain aware of popular culture, cooking, and enjoying time with his wife and son. He holds degrees in Communications (Calvin College), Film Studies (Central Michigan University), and Media and American Culture Studies (Bowling Green State University). In addition to editing a collection, Battleground States: Scholarship in Contemporary America, he has forthcoming projects on Johnny Cash and analysis of vampires and gods in terms of hospitality.

An Offering of the Heart

Bonnie Ponce reflects on the book of Nehemiah and how the people sacrificed to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and how that relates to supporting Relief. Recently our church began to study the book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah is a book about a man, Nehemiah, who sees a need to lead his people to rebuilding the Jerusalem’s wall, which has been destroyed. He brings hope to his people and inspires them to work hard. In chapter 3 of Nehemiah, there is a list of all the people that work on the wall – the important people, servants, nobles, people that work on the wall without the support of others. People from different back grounds work together. Even how much work they do is noted.

“Nehemiah…made repairs as far as a point opposite the tombs of David, and as far as the artificial pool and the house of the mighty men.” Neh. 3:16

“Benjamin and Hasshub carried out repairs in front of their house. After them Azariah the son of Maaseiah, son of Ananiah, carried out repairs beside his house.” Neh. 3:23

Relief inspires people to write, to read, to think, and to build up the Christian community with engaging literature. Relief units people of all beliefs to see Christian literature in a new light – what it can be when it is well written and deals with tough issues. Giving should be an offering of the heart. At Relief, we ask you for your financial support because we have a financial need.

Some people are able to give a lot and some people are only able to give a small gift but the important thing is that everyone sacrificed their time and efforts and did what they were able to do to build the wall in Jerusalem. At Relief we ask that if you support our efforts to bring amazing literature to print then please consider a gift – give what you are able to sacrifice. Our campaign will end on April 15, so listen to your heart and give to Relief!

Each of you should give whatever you have decided. You shouldn't be sorry that you gave or feel forced to give, since God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7 (God’s Word translation)

Bonnie Ponce is the Director of Support Raising for Relief and lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband and betta fish. She has a BA in English from Sam Houston State University. After work she enjoys relaxing with a good book or working on her novel.

Capturing the Journey Different Ways

After my post last month about journaling and blogging, I thought some further discussion might be helpful. There's nothing like an eventful, thought-provoking few weeks to remind me how different chronicling life can look for myself from season to season, let alone for others.

I recall seeing pictures on a friend's blog of her journals, the pages resplendent with doodles, swatches, poetry. This activity can have so many variations. My one-page entry style is rather bland in comparison to many.

But it works for me. Lately I've found myself, almost all of a sudden, on a journey with Eastern Orthodoxy. My journal, writing notebook, and blog have all been called into service as I process what's happening in my heart.

Being my "published" venue, the blog lags in time compared to reality. In a post I try to put things together, condensing and shaping even though it's still a rough form. For instance, the day I decided I really needed to consider joining the Orthodox church my husband goes to, I notebooked and then journaled many details that will never see the light of blog. Yet after I had gained a little distance, the explanation I gave on my site felt more satisfactory, more ready for a larger audience of family and friends. And the comments I received seemed to confirm that my quick work to edit and polish helped strike a genuine chord.

At some point I may produce an essay about this time in my spiritual life. That effort, however, will require much more real work and the openness to art, to contradiction. I hope I will give my experience the fuller attention it might deserve.

I would love to hear accounts of others' journaling styles. Do you jot on napkins? Use your camera to capture meaningful moments? What form does your activity take as you process your significant turns and twists along life's road?

Deanna Hershiser’s essays have appeared in Runner’s World, BackHome Magazine, Relief, and other places. She lives with her husband in Oregon and blogs at deannahershiser.com

Those in Hell Can Come to Heaven

Bonnie ponders C. S. Lewis' question of what would happen if people sent to hell could visit heaven. C.S. Lewis’ controversial novella, The Great Divorce, offers a unique view of heaven and hell. In the opening of the story the narrator is standing in line for a bus in Gray Town. It is a dreary place that is perpetually twilight and raining. When the bus comes, it takes them to heaven, a bright and colorful place, totally opposite of Gray Town. The premise is that anyone who wants to stay in heaven can, but they have to speak to a person from their past that they knew on earth.

Three interactions between visitors from Gray Town and residents from heaven are examples Lewis’ social commentary of our culture.

The Apostate and the Spirit After they great each other, they begin to discuss their friendship on earth and their current locations. The Apostate asks, “Do you really think that people are penalized for their honest opinions? Even assuming, for the sake of argument, that those opinions were mistaken.” The Spirit asserts that they followed the academic fads of the times, stating that, “we were afraid of crude salvationism, afraid of a breach with the spirit of the age, afraid of ridicule, afraid (above all) of real spiritual fears and hopes… Having allowed oneself to drift, unresisting, un-praying, accepting every half-conscious solicitation from our desires we reached a point where we no longer believed in the Faith…The beliefs are sincere in the sense that they do occur as psychological events in the man’s mind. If that’s what you mean by sincerity they are sincere, and so were ours. But errors which are sincere in that sense are not innocent.” They continue to talk and the Spirit asks his friend to repent and believe in God, the eternal fact. The Apostate returns to Gray Town unable to repent.

The Man in Sexual Sin There is a man, like a ghost but dark and oily stumbling through Heaven. He carries on his shoulder a red lizard that whispers in his ear. An Angel approaches him and asks him if he would like him to quiet the lizard and the ghost replies that he would. The Angel states that to silence the lizard, he will have to kill him. The lizard’s voice becomes louder as the Angel continues to offer to kill it. He says, “I know there are no real pleasure now, only dreams. But aren’t they better than nothing? And I’ll be so good. I admit I’ve sometimes gone too far in the past but I promise I won’t do it again. I’ll give you nothing but really nice dreams-all sweet and fresh and almost innocent. You might say, quite innocent…” The man agrees to let the Angel kill the lizard and out of it comes a beautiful man restored to his sexuality embodied in the form of a great stallion. He stays in heaven to live as a resident of heaven.

Sarah Smith and the Tragedian A woman from Heaven, whose name was Sarah Smith, comes to meet her husband, whose self pity has split his soul in two. The man is now a dwarf, leading a tragedian, which is the embodiment of his self-pity. Even as his wife meets him, his is upset that she didn’t miss him since their death and separation. His wife asks for his forgiveness for all that happened when they were on earth and asks him to let go of the chain connecting him to his self-pity. Unable to let go, eventually his soul disappears and ceases to exist at all.

These three encounters lead us to ponder some interesting questions about our culture today. In the first one, the Apostate is in Hell because though he had sincere beliefs and opinions they were wrong and he was sent to Hell. Would a loving God send us to Hell just because our opinions are wrong?

In the second case, a man who struggles with sexual sin – be it homosexuality, adultery, pornography etc. be redeemed and stay in heaven?

In the third case the man’s self-pity consumes his soul so that he ceases to exist. Does self pity keep us from living?

Bonnie Ponce is the Director of Support Raising for Relief and lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband and betta fish. She has a BA in English from Sam Houston State University. After work she enjoys relaxing with a good book or working on her novel.

Skulls and Bones and Skeletons

A few years ago I spent a weekend at JPUSA, the community of Christians in Chicago who live together in the old Chelsea Hotel and call themselves “Jesus People.” And during my time there, I saw a lot of skulls.

Skulls adorn the hallways, the door frames, and the forearms of the people who inhabit them.  Five doors down from my room there was an unapologetic mural of a skeleton, squarely behind a baby gate and next to a sign that warned in loud purple Crayola, “Nursing Urijiah! Piz come back. ” All over the community, there were instances of this odd juxtaposition of life and death.

I wondered if the skulls were some kind of talisman, like some cultures have to ward off evil spirits, but when I asked one of the women on staff about their significance, she laughed. “Well,” she said, “People here are kind of obsessed with death.”

She explained to me, “The skulls and skeletons are representative of the knowledge that there’s more.  We anticipate death, in a way, because we are eager for our new bodies and the new life ahead with Christ.  We are living in a dichotomy between this world and the next, and we are very aware of that.”  So there are skulls: a reminder of our mortal decay.  She also told me that people at JPUSA tend to live in the awareness that, in the city, they are surrounded by the living dead.  They are among the spiritually destitute and dying.

I’ve often felt this restlessness, of living in the cracks between Eden and Heaven, which some call the age of the in-between, the already-not-yet of the kingdom.  It can be exasperating: is the kingdom here, or is it to come? Christ has come into our world and has promised victory over sin and death, but we still live under its affects while we wait for His return. And it can make us impatient in the waiting, while we see the world around us in such need of redemption.  We were created for eternal life, to bear divine image and have a face-to-face relationship with our Maker, but sin ruptured this paradise and now we live in the imbalance, caught between what was supposed to be and what is now utterly broken. Even the earth is a victim of this tension, “the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now” (Romans 8:22).  Even the earth and the roots of mountains straddle this gap between the kingdoms.

There is a dichotomy at hand. We are finite beings with eternal life or death at stake. Perhaps the reminder of our mortal frame, whether skulls and bones or just knowing that there is more to come, can lend urgency to our days to live well, to reach out to the dying, and to eagerly await the life ahead.

Stephanie S. Smith graduated from Moody Bible Institute with a degree in Communications and Women’s Ministry, which she now puts to work freelancing as a book publicist and writer through her business, (In)dialogue Communications, at www.stephaniessmith.com. After living in Chicago for four years, traveling to Amsterdam for a spell, and then moving back home to Baltimore to plan a wedding, she now lives with her husband in Upstate New York where they make novice attempts at home renovation in their 1930s bungalow. She writes for www.startmarriageright.com and manages Moody Publishers’ blog, www.insidepages.net.

Coffee with an Old Friend

Bonnie wonders if Anne of Green Gables has anything to offer readers today. Recently I picked up Anne of Green Gables and I felt as though I went to get coffee with an old friend.  Her story is inspiring and refreshing.  Her constant upbeat attitude and imagination-run-wild made me smile as I remembered my own childhood imaginations and adventures. I feel as though such uplifting stories are harder to find these days.  Surrounded by self-help books and seminars; conferences for people to learn how to become better people and more organized in a weekend.  We are inundated with so much to remind us what we need to become.  Anne Shirley blunders throughout the story, growing up and often learning difficult lessons about love and friendship and romance.  So often we just want to find a quick fix in a self-help book.  How to date, how to be a good friend, finding romance - all these 12 step solutions.  As Montgomery comments, "We pay a price for everything we get or take in this world; and although ambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply won, but exact their dues of work and self-denial, anxiety and discouragement."  So I wonder is Montgomery right in saying that self-denial leads to things worth having in life?  Anne of Green Gables was published in 1908 and the times were different from our hectic schedules and I wonder at the relevance of this coming of age story.  As much as it is positive and uplifting I find myself wondering if I should put away my self-help books and take the hard road of life or keep seeking a better solution.

Bonnie Ponce is the Director of Support Raising for Relief and lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband and betta fish. She has a BA in English from Sam Houston State University. After work she enjoys relaxing with a good book or working on her novel.

Love Wins: Unless God Decides You're Evil

Travis Griffith discusses the implications of Rob Bell's new book, Love Wins. Will it define a new Christianity or destroy those who believe him?

To an outsider, the Christian religion can look awfully intimidating.

Between the constant threats of judgment and the, forgive me in advance here, fanciful stories that dot the Christian landscape, it's really no surprise to hear that modern Christianity is struggling a bit.

Seriously, why would a non-Christian voluntarily join a religion where he or she risks eternal damnation in hell come Judgement Day?  Oh, right. They'd do it for the reward of a blissful eternal life in heaven sitting next to the great Mr. Christ.

Well what if damnation was removed from the equation, along with the requirement to devote life to Jesus? Or even know his name?

Whoa. That'll get some attention!

And it has, in the form of a new book from megachurch pastor Rob Bell called Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived (HarperOne).

Followers of the Christian faith have no doubt heard of him. I have to admit the first I heard his name was earlier this week while reading a newspaper article while on an airplane coming home from a particularly sinful weekend in San Diego. The article laid out a couple of Bell's claims:

• God gives humans the choice to either live with him or without him.
• Death doesn't cut off the ability to repent and there is no infinite torment for things humans did in their finite lifetimes.
• Jesus makes salvation possible, even for those who have never even heard his name.

There are plenty of folks in the Christian world writing Bell off as a heretic and false teacher of Jesus, which of course they have every right to believe.

From the perspective of those in a situation like mine, though, Bell's vision is an incredibly refreshing, loving and accepting message that will appeal to legions of lost young people searching for some kind of spirituality.

In the trailer for his book (which you can watch here), Bell discusses a moment when a church-member said "Gandhi is in hell." That is exactly the kind of close-minded statement  that turns people off to Christianity. Gandhi, the "Great Soul" himself, is as likely to be in hell as Martin Luther King, Jr.

As a believer in the Universe and a fierce proponent of the power of love and acceptance of all humans, I believe Bell's message could be an interpretation of Christianity the world can embrace in the future: a world where everyone can go to heaven and hell simply doesn't exist.

What do you think: is Rob Bell about to become irrelevant or will his message resonate with a new generation of Christians?

***

Travis Griffith, Relief's Blog Manager, is a former atheist now exploring what a spiritual life really means. His children’s book, Your Father Forever, was published in 2005 by Illumination Arts Publishing Company, Inc. Travis works from his home in Spokane, WA as a professional writer.

A Philanthropic Mind

Bonnie talks about the history of Philanthropy. Philanthropy is not a new concept.  According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, charitable groups existed in ancient Rome and Greece.  Plato's Academy was supported by an endowment for 900 years.  Even the medieval Christian church began trusts to use for benevolent purposes. "Starting in the late 19th century, large personal fortunes led to the creation of private foundations that bequeathed gifts totaling millions and then billions in support of the arts, education, medical research, public policy, social services, environmental causes, and other special interests."

The ideas of charity and philanthropy are important in the history of humanity.  While everyone gives for different reasons, I think that people give to elevate society.  The arts, education and research all help to enrich our lives and raise our standard of living.

Charity comes from the Latin word "caritas" which means unconditional love.  Show Relief your unconditional love right now and give to a journal that is elevating the standards of Christian fiction, poetry, and creative non-fiction!

Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/philanthropy#ixzz1GAPib0QA

Bonnie Ponce is the Director of Support Raising for Relief and lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband and betta fish. She has a BA in English from Sam Houston State University. After work she enjoys relaxing with a good book or working on her novel.

An Encouraging Story

Bonnie shares an encouraging story about how donations can save print media. In this age of technology, digital media has overshadowed printed materials.  Looking around it seems like everyone has an e-reader of some type.  While the pros and cons of e-readers are a topic of debate among literary connoisseurs it is hard to ignore the growing number of people who use them.  Even in my family it is a topic of debate.  I have one and enjoy it and my husband feels negatively about them.  With the growing number of people reading from digital files, it is growing increasingly harder to sell printed material like books, journals, and magazines.  I found an encouraging article about one such magazine that turned to donations to keep going in this technology-saturated age.  I hope that if you read their story that it will encourage you to give to Relief Journal.

In this age it is hard to believe that there is any hope for print media.  Paste is a small independent music magazine that shares a story of financial triumph in hard times by turning to donations from loyal readers to stay in print.  By asking for donations and changing their magazine’s format for a short while they were able to continue to pay their staff and print their magazine while increasing their subscriptions.

Relief, run by volunteers, offers authors a creative outlet and provides exciting new stories to interest readers.  It is important to realize that subscriptions don’t cover all of the costs of printing, so for print media to survive, donations are needed.  Please consider a gift to Relief so we can keep on printing.  While digital media is growing, there is nothing quit like sitting on the couch with a good book in your hands.  Please show Relief some love.

Bonnie Ponce is the Director of Support Raising for Relief and lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband and betta fish. She has a BA in English from Sam Houston State University. After work she enjoys relaxing with a good book or working on her novel.